I’ve had quite a few people ask me about how I’m doing in terms of being in a long distance relationship and how we are making it work. Look, I won’t lie – being apart is hard. Harder than I ever expected it would be, but we know that we want to be together, to have a life together – and so we’ll deal with the distance and make it work.
We always do.
We always have.
When she left to go back home to Tennessee (I’m in California), it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. In just a few short days that passed all too quickly, we had become so comfortable together. Being apart was something I dreaded. I knew that I wanted to be with her, not away from her.
We have made it work, there are days that are much harder than others – but we know that for now, all of this will be worth it in the end. We have some pretty exciting plans ahead of us for our future, but there are things we are doing in the meantime to make everything work and make the distance bearable.
FaceTime Dates: Oh my goodness. This help so much. I can see her. She can see me. She can see all the stupid expressions I make and we can just be together despite the distance. We try to have a FaceTime date at least once a week if we can, and that really helps so much.
It gives both of us a chance to see each other and really spend time together. It’s something we both really look forward to and even though it hates us and keeps disconnecting on date nights, we deal with it. 😉
Text Messages: To be pretty honest, we are usually texting all day long. It isn’t the same as hearing her voice or seeing her through a FaceTime call, but it helps because we are still in contact, still talking and still spending time together. I know it will help even more now that I’m headed back to work, she’s working again and classes are starting again.
It’s a quick little something that keeps us in touch throughout the day when a phone call or FaceTime just aren’t an option.
Phone calls: Sometimes FaceTime just doesn’t want to cooperate for us, and sometimes it’s just not an option so there’s phone calls. I get to hear her voice, hear her laugh and we can spend hours on the phone talking (same with FaceTime, and it never seems like hours). Again, it helps bridge the whole distance gap and gives us time together when we can’t physically be together.
Music: There are so many songs that remind me of her, or us and I know she has a ton of songs that make her think of me or us. We’ve made a few playlists – ranging from the smooshy songs to other songs that remind us of moments together. I know as time goes on, there will be more and more playlists. There are songs that instantly melt me into a puddle when they come on or songs that make me laugh. Music is always going to be yet another thing that helps bring us together despite the distance.
Letters: It’s no surprise that we both love to write, and letters have always been one of my favorite things. I have a letter she sent me last fall folded up in my wallet so it’s with me everywhere I go. Before she left, we agreed to write letters as often as we could and the first had to include something along the lines of “favorite moments of us”. I’ve been working on it for a bit now and can’t wait to send it off to her. It’s the little things like letters that help, another thing I can keep with me even if she isn’t here with me.
Visits: As often as we can, depending on finances. Airfare isn’t cheap, we are at the point in our relationship where things are serious and we want (and need) our own space and privacy, so we’re booking hotels for visits. Right now we have a short visit planned for October, hopefully one around the winter holidays and I’m hoping to spend my entire spring break with her.
Planning for our future: We both know what we want, and we are both planning for a future together. Everything is really starting to unfold and come together in order for that to happen and it’s very exciting. It’s not something we talk about in public often, but we know that we have the support of our closest friends and family. We are very excited for our future and I get all flaily when I think about it.
Being apart isn’t easy, it isn’t. It’s harder than I ever thought it would be (and I knew it would be hard), but we are making it work because we have to. We’re strong enough to make it through the temporary distance until we can start building a life together wherever we end up. We are getting through the distance because we’ve never been happier together and we know what we want – a life together.