Fact Friday: Endometriosis

October 30, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness, personal: fact friday, personal: health, personal: that spoonie life 0 Comments

I guess I’m on a roll for these new features, but it’s fun and something to focus on when I have nothing else to do.

This week I wanted to give a quick, five fact breakdown for one of my biggest health challenges – endometriosis.

  1. MayoClinic describes endometriosis as:

Endometriosis (en-doe-me-tree-O-sis) is an often painful disorder in which tissue that normally lines the inside of your uterus — the endometrium — grows outside your uterus (endometrial implant). Endometriosis most commonly involves your ovaries, bowel or the tissue lining your pelvis. Rarely, endometrial tissue may spread beyond your pelvic region.

In endometriosis, displaced endometrial tissue continues to act as it normally would — it thickens, breaks down and bleeds with each menstrual cycle. Because this displaced tissue has no way to exit your body, it becomes trapped. When endometriosis involves the ovaries, cysts called endometriomas may form. Surrounding tissue can become irritated, eventually developing scar tissue and adhesions — abnormal tissue that binds organs together.

Endometriosis can cause pain — sometimes severe — especially during your period. Fertility problems also may develop. Fortunately, effective treatments are available.

2.There is NO CURE for endometriosis. Yep, you heard me. NO. CURE. That means this condition will never go away. There are treatments for it (and I’ve tried several) but as with any medication or treatment approach – what may work for you, may not work for me.

3. The biggest symptom and indicator many women have is:

The primary symptom of endometriosis is pelvic pain, often associated with your menstrual period. Although many women experience cramping during their menstrual period, women with endometriosis typically describe menstrual pain that’s far worse than usual. They also tend to report that the pain has increased over time. 

4. I deal with the pain by pain medication, rest, hot baths or heating pads. No, this doesn’t always help. Sometimes it brings enough relief that I can get some rest, but lately – that’s impossible. I’ve had several doctor appointments and several ER trips this past summer because my symptoms have only worsened.

5. The most effective treatment for me? Has been my first and only surgery. I had a laparoscopy done about eight years ago and what endometriosis was found was removed and I had quite a bit of relief for awhile. Now that it’s been several years, my symptoms are worse – right back to where they were before my operation. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to have another soon so that I can have somewhat of a normal life.

If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to ask! Hopefully this post has helped explain some of what I go through with endo.

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LUX by Courtney Cole is Here!

October 29, 2015 Katie A Uncategorized 0 Comments

You have no idea how much I have adored this series. The twists. The turns. The lingering questions. The nights I’m up aching for more, wondering what happens next… and now LUX is here.

CourtneyCole-Lux-LaunchGraphic-600px

The dramatic series finale to Courtney Cole’s bestselling Nocte trilogy!

Get LUX on Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Kobo
Add LUX to your Goodreads TBR

CourtneyCole-Lux-Cover-250pxMy name is Calla Price and I’m broken.

My pieces are all around me, floating on the wind, even as I desperately try to grasp them.

Who is dead? Alive? Insane?

What is the truth?

I don’t know.

I do know this: The darkness is strangling me. With every breath, I choke on another lie.

My mind has protected me, but that shield will soon be lowered.

All will be revealed.
Every answer to every question.

It’s all been leading to this.

Don’t be afraid.
Be terrified.

Get LUX on Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Kobo
Add LUX to your Goodreads TBR

Series reading order: Nocte (#1), Verum (#2), Initium (#2.5), Lux (#3).

Get NOCTE: Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Kobo | Audible (Add on Goodreads)
Get VERUM: Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Kobo | Audible (Add on Goodreads)
Get INITIUM: Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Kobo (Add on Goodreads)
Get LUX: Amazon | iBooks | Nook | Kobo (Add on Goodreads)

CourtneyCole-Headshot250pxCourtney Cole is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling novelist who would rather write than eat chocolate. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Business, but no amount of working in the corporate world could quell her urge to write.

Courtney was born and raised in Kansas, home of incredibly friendly people and the most horrendous weather on the planet. Because summer days were so hot, she grew up reading stacks of books… and when she didn’t like the ending, she wrote her own.

Courtney has relocated to Florida where she writes beneath palm trees. To learn more about her, please visit her website.  To sign up for her newsletter and receive exclusive sneak peeks and super-fan perks, click here.

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Positively Katie

October 25, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness, personal: health, personal: highs and lows, personal: positively katie 0 Comments

8fb9f982df577e98979283c1bb6071e2Back in the day when I was involved in the high school youth group at my former church, we always began our Sunday mornings by getting coffee and snacks at the local cafe and then coming back to our room. We’d sit on the floor or wherever we felt comfortable and then our leader would open it up.

We always started with our highs and lows of the week. We’d each share our own, and sometimes we’d talk about them further or answer any questions. At first, I was so hesitant to share mine. At this point in time, I was knee deep in depression and living in an unhealthy (and unsafe) environment. I didn’t want to speak up. I was scared.

What those memories bring back to me is how freeing it was to share what was going on in my life. The good days, the bad days, the really bad days. It was a safe place to talk to others my age, I had trusted adults around me and even though I felt like I didn’t fit in (let’s face it: I didn’t. I wasn’t popular, “pretty” or outgoing), I had a chance to share what I was going through in a safe environment.

That’s why this week, during a bad week – I wanted to start the weekly highs and lows. Not only for myself to look back on, but as a way to connect with everyone, to share what I’m facing, and to hear from you.

What did my week shape up as?

highs: my birthday... I celebrated quite a bit for my birthday this week. Work spoiled me, I spoiled myself, I got to go to Monterey with my sister, lunch with my sister and one of my best friends and my dad. I indulged (maybe too much?) with some of my favorite things and food. 12074756_695009221797_1570833329665519035_n

FaceTime dates with my gorgeous girl. 11051977_676444690267_4307485438757227096_nWe had a few of them this week, and each of them had moments where we laughed until we cried. Mostly over ridiculous things, but I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. We also made a big decision last night but I’m keeping it a secret.

On my birthday, I had posted something on Instagram and was greeted with a comment that I never thought I’d get. It was from one of my childhood best friends that I’d lost touch with over the last couple of years. As you can imagine, it was a flood of emotions and we exchanged phone numbers and have started to catch up. I’m still crying happy tears over this and I am so thankful she is back in my life.

lows: insomnia. Good lord, it’s been horrible this week. It’s gotten to the point where my entire sleep schedule is now thrown off because of it. It’s a mess. I’m so tired and so frustrated and just want to sleep.

Endometriosis…. yeah, no. I’m still mad. My period showed up out of nowhere when I am not supposed to have it and left me in bed for most of the week. I couldn’t go to class because not only was I exhausted, but I was in so much pain. It got to the point where I ended up having to take some heavy painkillers, and I hate doing that as often as I did this week.

Friendships breaking apart… eh. I’m still mad, but I cut them out of my life as they were nothing but toxic. I was dragged into something that had nothing to do with me in the first place, and lets just say, I went off on those responsible and proceeded to block them from every social media outlet I’m active on. It was a mess and frustrating.

Overall, I think it was a pretty good week. I was upset over missing so much class, but it gave me the chance (and forced me) to learn that I have to take care of myself, and not too push myself too hard.

8475f00924944443a11e015d8cd3edadThe good days won over the bad days, and even though I struggled a bit this week – I did the best I could and got on my feet and kept fighting, kept moving and kept going. I didn’t give up.

 

 

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The Guilt of Self Care

October 22, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness 1 Comment

Let me be honest here. Brutally honest.

It’s been a bad week. Rough. Emotional. Full of pain. Frustration. Stress. And then, just when I thought things couldn’t get harder – depression started to rear it’s ugly head. All while I battle an unexpected flare up of endometriosis complete with my second period this month.

All of this the week of my birthday.

I missed work Monday because I was that miserable. On my birthday.

It’s been rough.

I’ve missed more class this week than I have in the entire semester. Between the exhaustion, the pain and just being unable to do anything – I couldn’t drag myself out of bed. It was either classes, or work – but not both.

I couldn’t do both. fbc5c7c32a79e92133988542e01f159f

I had every intention of getting up and going to both classes this morning, but a rough night of sleep, pain that left me doubled over this morning and the fact that it was one of those mornings where I knew I had to take some serious pain meds, – that wasn’t going to happen.

I hated it.

I wanted to cry (and still do).

Worst of all?

I felt guilty for realizing that I need to take care of myself.

It’s a hard thing to learn that you need to take care of yourself, especially when you are facing so many chronic health conditions. It’s been my biggest fight sometimes. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. More often than not, I’ve pushed myself too hard, too far and too often. e96032de17b086e2017a2c77765d2777

Lately, it’s been too hard, too far and much too often.

When I turned off my alarm this morning, I sat in bed fighting with myself over the choice I made.

Do I go and push myself too far?

Do I stay home and rest?

I’d look at the clock every minute or so, telling myself I still had time to get up, to get ready and get out the door.

Eventually, knowing that I needed the rest, the heavy medication and to take care of myself won. I still felt guilty. Even more so when I woke up after noon, despite knowing how much I needed the rest, despite knowing how bad the pain was this morning.

I felt guilty.

I felt guilty, horrible and selfish for taking care of myself.

I felt guilty for taking the medicine I knew would help me get some relief. I felt guilty sleeping for another few hours when my body absolutely needed it. I felt like in many ways, I’d lost the fight. I’d given in – that guilt was a hungry thing, grabbing onto everything I had and lingering.

fce7b6e1bf9f77bf30006f84921412b5I knew that I had to take care of myself.

I knew that if I pushed too hard, too fast, too often – I’d make myself worse.

I sat in bed, staring up at the ceiling as I felt the guilt eat at me, repeating quietly to myself that I had to take care of myself. I had to put myself first.

There are times where I feel like people around me don’t see how hard I fight. I fight hard. I always have some sort of barrier put up to protect myself.

Sometimes, I stand surrounded by people – and watch and wonder if they can hear me scream as I drown with the fact that self care is hard. Putting yourself first is hard. Learning to do this every day is even harder – but so many times, I feel like it is a silent scream that no one hears.

Do they see the fight in me? I honestly don’t know.

I’ve been at my job for nine years and I am just now getting to the point where I am comfortable telling my boss how I really feel on these bad days, and that is something incredibly hard to do.

Learning to say no, to create boundaries, to take care of myself (in any way I have to), is a fight. Sometimes it’s more than I can handle and I feel like I’m drowning in the guilt – but these are the times where I know I am doing the right thing.

It’s the hardest times that make you realize that you can be at your lowest point, drowning underneath everything but finally feel like you can breathe and just let go.

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why my story is not an agenda

October 11, 2015 Katie A Uncategorized 1 Comment

In light of recent events, I decided that writing this blog post was happening within minutes of waking up. This needs to be said.

Growing up, I didn’t have books that I saw myself in.

Wait. Let me explain. . .

I’m white, but I am not straight. I am not able bodied. I live with several chronic illnesses. I live with mental illness. I lived through a nasty divorce. I lived in a home that wasn’t safe. I lived in poverty. I lived day to day, wondering where my next meal would be – and if it was fresh enough to actually eat.

I never saw myself in books.

It wasn’t until late in high school where I finally found a book with a gay main character, but by then – it was too late.

I had already lived through hell. I was still living through hell. I was in a place where I couldn’t come out. I was self harming, I was knee deep in a dark depression. I lost about forty pounds. I wouldn’t eat when there was food. I watched a parent in and out of a psychiatric hospital.

All while trying to find a safe place to escape, and I turned to books.

I couldn’t find myself in them.

Not a single one.

My story is not an agenda.

My story needs to be heard. It needs to be told. This is a story that may save a life. This is a story that cannot be erased.

When we don’t see ourselves represented in the every day world, so many of us turn to books to find ourselves. And many of us, still struggle to find those books. To have them in our hands, to cry as they read because they’ve found themselves.

Not being able to see ourselves represented is damaging. It leaves scars. It isn’t something that disappears overnight. We fight daily to make our stories heard – we know how important they are.

We know that by sharing our stories,  putting books into hands that need these, we can change lives. We will change lives. We will save lives.

Our story is never an agenda. It never will be.

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Wednesday Words – A Letter to My Younger Self

October 7, 2015 Katie A Uncategorized 0 Comments

(Wednesday Words was originally created by me when I was blogging for The Hunger Games fansite – The Hob. Now I’m hoping to use it here once or twice a month)

Dear younger Katie,
You have already been through so much. You’ve seen your parents divorce, you survived a messy divorce, and moved around a bit. You went through a period of time where there wasn’t enough food, lived in place to place, had some really, really rough times, but you stayed strong (even though you hid the truth from family).

You saw a parent in and out of a psychiatric hospital while you battled your first big bout of depression.

You struggled with an eating disorder (and still do) even after several doctors told you that there’s “nothing wrong”. You survived high school where you were bullied, humiliated by a teacher and began self harming.

You survived a break up that changed your entire life – in good ways and bad. It left you depressed and wondering what went wrong, but you learned that things were better now. It opened up the door to a new relationship – one that is healthy, full of love and with your soulmate.

You came out. As hard as it was, you knew it was something that had to be done. It was hard, and scary. You were publicly humiliated by people you thought were friends. You were called a liar. You were called disgusting. You were told you were going to hell. You were prayed for because it would “heal” you. These same people stalked and harassed you for months.

You survived, again and again.

You don’t know what lies ahead – you don’t know that you’ll be diagnosed as type 2 diabetic just months after your 30th birthday. It’ll come as a huge shock and will leave you wondering WHY. You’ll feel alone and ashamed when others tell you things like “you can’t be diabetic, you’re too young” or “you better get it together and make changes” or “you’re too thin and active to be diabetic”. It’s harmful. It hurts.

You don’t know that you’ll be diagnosed with PCOS just months later, even after the thought of it has lingered in the back of your head for a couple years. While the diagnosis is somewhat of a relief, it brings more hard news – between the diagnosis of PCOS, having endometriosis and being a diabetic… chances of having a pregnancy are slim. It crushes you. You knew there was a chance of this, but you didn’t want to think about. That news from a doctor hit you like a ton of bricks.

You’ll fall in love with an amazing woman, exchange promise rings on the beach in Florida, and make plans for “the big move”. The long distance is hard, but you two are meant to be. She’s your rock, your anchor, your strength when you are weak. She will always love you, for you.

You’ve survived so much already, and you’ll keep surviving. You’ll fight every day, no matter how hard things get. You keep moving – one foot in front of the other. One day at a time, even one second at a time.

Everything you go through now will lead up to where you’ll be later on in life – but don’t forget how strong you are.

One day at a time.

Love,
me.

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My Health, My Treatments, My Choice

September 29, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness 0 Comments

Yeah, yeah, yeah. . . I know I suck at this whole blogging thing, but let’s face it: this summer was brutal for me. Two ER trips due to Endometriosis, a shitty doctor who told me my pain was “in my mindset” and the agonizing wait to get into a new clinic (which has a much happier ending).

I walked out of that new clinic with yet another diagnosis – one that makes so much sense when it comes to my type two diabetes diagnosis. I was diagnosed with PCOS and told that between this, the diabetes and the endometriosis that I am unlikely to be a candidate for pregnancy.

It was crushing, honestly. I’ve cried about it. I’ve been angry.

This diagnosis though makes sense. The symptoms, the diabetes… it all makes sense.

That being said, this post was triggered and inspired by one of my classes today. I’m back in school after a semester off and while I am loving it, let’s be honest – it’s draining. I come home and nap after my classes before I go to work for the afternoon. I try and get homework done early in the week, but that has yet to happen. I’m just wiped out.

Today we were discussing gender and how our identities often intersect with other aspects of our lives. Some of the things I listed were my sexuality (I’m openly lesbian), a spoonie, endometriosis warrior, a chronic illness fighter and someone who has invisible illnesses.

When it came time to discuss these with other classmates in smaller groups, I was hesitant. I didn’t want to share this because it’s so hard sometimes. It’s frustrating to hear “but you don’t look sick”, or “you’re too young”, or “you’re too healthy and thin to have diabetes”, but guess what? I do. I fight every day. I push myself every day. I don’t want to have these – but I do. 1efbedb94b1252751abd144718c73922

I am sick.

One of the people in my group is very vocal about her approach and a family member who has been ill. Which, I appreciate – it’s nice to hear from someone else about what they may be dealing with.

The problem I have is that today, when I brought up my illnesses – all of them being invisible – I was immediately thrown into a whirlpool of health treatments that don’t mesh well with me. They aren’t something I’m comfortable with, something I feel that would benefit me. She didn’t seem to understand that and kept going on and on.

When I talked about how a recent trial of me being off of metformin for the diabetes sent me back into the range of the 200-300 blood glucose level, she said I just need to get off of the medication and let my body detox.

Yeah, no. I’m not willing to risk that and put myself in a possible position to end up in the emergency room because my blood glucose won’t come down to a safe level. I’m not willing to risk going off of my mood stabilizers or anti-depressants. I know what I am like without them, and I don’t want to go there again.

I know how I am without being on my current birth control pill. It sent me to the emergency room twice this summer. I bled for six weeks. I was sick. I was in so much pain I could hardly even eat.

Let’s face it: what may work for you, may not work for me. And that is totally fine. We all have different bodies that react to things differently. Right now, my body is doing fine on the metformin, it’s doing really well with the new birth control pills to help my Endometriosis, and my mood stabilizer (while I am adjusting to a higher dose currently) is worked wonders.

When my girlfriend and I talked today about this entire thing, this is what she said:

“I, personally, have seen the amazing benefits your treatment plan has had on you: a happier, healthier katie.  ❤”

Having her and my friends and family at my side helping me through these last few months has been life saving. I’ve been in a very dark place for a long time before I finally started getting treatment and for others to see the changes in me? Means the world and really hits home that I am doing what is best for me.

Let me make my own choices with my doctor and psychiatrist and gynecologist about what works for me. Let me take the medications that keep me stable, keep me out of the emergency room. Let me handle my own treatment, knowing what works for me.

Being chronically ill is hard enough as it is, but knowing what works best for me? Has been amazing and I am not letting that go anytime soon.

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Exhaustion, Endometriosis and Endless Appointments

July 9, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness 1 Comment

I’m sure many of you will understand how utterly exhausting it is to just get through one appointment, much less three appointments in one week – two in one day. Wednesday was brutal and I am beyond exhausted and still trying to sort everything out, even though they were both good appointments and I got a lot accomplished in one day.

Monday was my second round of therapy with V, where we briefly talked about my recent bipolar diagnosis, how I was adjusting to medication so far and then we moved onto talking about my coming out experience (you can read about that here) and how it’s been such a struggle for me since it happened. It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it would be. I thought I’d break down in tears, but I didn’t. I thought quietly at several points during the session, but I really felt somewhat better when I left.

I go back next Monday morning for round three before I head to work for the day. I’m assuming I’ll be going weekly for awhile, at least until we start to make a dent in some of the things that I need to deal with and start working through. It’s overwhelming, but I know I have a good team behind me.

Wednesday morning started off crazy. By the time I was ready to leave to pick up my mom to go to my appointment with me, I couldn’t get my car started. I didn’t pick her up until ten minutes before my appointment and then I had to speed over to the office, but we made it on time. The entire way, I could feel myself start to panic. The stress of the morning plus knowing I could get some huge results had me all worked up. No matter what I did, I couldn’t calm down.

We waited forever. Nearly over an hour. So frustrating, but what can you do?

Finally get called back, and no surprise – my blood pressure is fine but my pulse was fast. I explain it’s anxiety, it’s always that way… so they recheck it in a few minutes. Still high. Telling me to “relax” doesn’t help, it just stresses me out more. Ugh.

Doctor M comes in and tells me my lab work results and I am floor. My A1C dropped from a 10.3 at diagnosis in February to a 6.9, which is under where they want a typical diabetic patient. I almost fell out of my chair and I am still in shock, holy crap. He also said that I can stop all medication for diabetes and just continue to eat healthy and exercise and test daily. I go back in three or four months for another round of lab work to check and see how things are doing.

I also left with an inhaler for exercise induced asthma and a refill of my anxiety/migraine/heart rate medication. Apparently the new call center that was forced on the clinic never relayed the refill request I asked and yeah… not happy. My nurse told me the secret about who to call and what extension to use, so now I don’t have to worry about it!

The big news is that I left with a referral to a gynecologist since my Endometriosis has only been getting worse these last few months. I’ve had a period for two weeks now, doubled over in pain nearly every day and nothing I’ve tried in the past seems to be helping anymore. I’m going to be pushing for surgery. I can’t stand this pain anymore. I go in on July 28 and hopefully we can get things rolling and begin some serious treatment.

Wednesday afternoon was my visit to Planned Parenthood. The pills I got in November just… weren’t working. I was still in pain, still having crazy periods and just… not working the way we’d hoped. After paperwork, waiting and surprise another slightly high pulse, I finally talked to a doctor and got new pills. I started them last night so it’s still too early to tell if they’ll help.

The doctor there also said it sounds like surgery is the next step since everything we’ve tried hasn’t worked and to make sure I tell my new gynecologist this when I see him at the end of the month. So, that’s what I will be doing.

It was an exhausting week for appointments and I know it’ll be this crazy for awhile.

I’ve spent today resting, and plan to curl up again and watch some television for the rest of the night. I go back to work tomorrow for a short shift, and I’m excited to see my work family but I am hoping I am not this tired and sore when I go tomorrow.

One day at a time, right? Just keep breathing. Stay strong.

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All Those Words: Starting a New Journey

July 1, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness 1 Comment

You may have seen me blog about my struggle with depression this winter, an eye opening post about what I had experienced. I was then referred to a clinic specializing in counseling as well as psychiatry. That was almost six months ago.

Five and a half months later, I made my first appointment. I walked into the doors at EH at 8:45am yesterday. I was shaking from head to toe. I was scared. I was worried. I was half convinced that no one would believe me and tell me I was fine. It was a new environment and I didn’t know what to expect.

therapy pink

I filled out the stack of paperwork I expected and was soon met in the lobby by my new therapist. I’ll call her V. Older, quiet, but very kind and welcoming. Calm and caring – I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Bonus: a woman. I had forgotten to ask on the phone the day before that I’d prefer a woman therapist.

Therapy isn’t new to me. I had gone on and off for years as I grew up, but coming to therapy alone is a new adventure. I have never really been in charge of something like this, planning my own appointments, getting myself there… these are big steps. Big steps I knew I had to take. I knew the first appointment would be more along the lines of getting to know each other, why I’m there, etc.

We talked somewhat about the variety of issues I’m dealing with, why I’m there (depression, things I’m still struggling with that have happened over the years, etc). It had been several years since I had gone to therapy and she openly asked how I had coped and I explained – sometimes I’d keep it all inside, sometimes I’d isolate myself, sometimes I’d rely on my close friends and family.

She gave me a list of coping techniques to try and said we would work on getting pas my experiences and being able to cope/manage when times get rough. After that, we scheduled my next appointment after V told me I could come as often as I want – weekly, once a month, every other month, etc. WOW! That’s awesome.

I go back next Monday afternoon and I am expecting to work hard that session to address some major things I’ve dealt with.

The  next thing we did was schedule an appointment with their psychiatry department. Originally scheduled for August, V was walking me out back to the lobby and the receptionist ran to us saying there was an opening for right now and was I willing to go now?

Why not, I said. I have no plans!

psychiatry pinkWalking into the office of PL as I’ll call her, felt surreal in so many ways. I couldn’t believe that after so many years, I was finally walking into the office a psychiatrist. I was going to get the help I needed. I was shaking again, overwhelmed but I knew this was what I had to do. This is why I was at EH.

I took in a deep breath and sat down in the chair, gripping the arm rests tightly. I was restless, anxious and not really sure what to expect. But I was here. I was doing this. I had already taken the first steps to the rest of my life.

We did the general questions about what brings me here, what meds I’m on, she asked questions about what my depression and anxiety were like, how often I experienced them, how often I had panic attacks or “down” days. We discussed my family history of mental health, how that has affected me, living with chronic illness and how I feel like a burden to others at times and when my own mental health issues began… it was a lot. It was a lot to remember, to discuss, to openly talk about. Overwhelming in so many ways.

As I’m already on Zoloft (prescribed the lowest dose by my primary care doctor), we talked about that and then began the big talk of what other medications could help me and a diagnosis. I was formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It’s still a lot to take in. It’s hard. It’s incredibly scary to think about, but it makes so much sense. The days where I am full of energy, can’t stop talking or moving… and then the days where just getting out of bed is a challenge.

In a way, I’m mad. I don’t want to be that person with bipolar, but I also know how strong I am. How I’ve struggled with this for so many years without a diagnosis, forcing myself to do what I needed to do to get by. Now that I have a diagnosis, I can get the medication to help keep me stabilized (well, when my insurance decides to sign off on it and cover it).

PL also gave me something for sleeping – something that has been incredibly rocky for me lately. I slept last night. Almost through the night. It’s an amazing feeling (even if I am still groggy today) and I know that getting the sleep I need will also help in my recovery.

I go back to see PL in August and from there, we will discuss what has or hasn’t been working medication wise and likely add in an anxiety medication for me as well. It’s a lot to digest, to think about, to get used to – it’s overwhelming in a numbing way.

These are just the first steps in a new journey, and as scary as it is – I’ll continue to fight, to stay strong and keep putting one foot in front of the other even on my darkest days.

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BEAUTIFUL LITTLE FOOL by KK Hendin Release Day Post!

June 22, 2015 Katie A Uncategorized 0 Comments

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Today is the release day blitz for BEAUTIFUL LITTLE FOOL by KK Hendin. This book is not your typical romance with the perfect HEA, but if you are looking for something a little bit shocking, and evil, this is the book for you. It will be on sale for .99¢ for a very limited time!

 

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AUTHOR NOTE from KK Hendin:

Just a little warning when reading BEAUTIFUL LITTLE FOOL.
Don’t trust anyone.
Don’t trust anything.
Don’t assume anything.
Don’t hope too hard.
You may be disappointed.
Good luck reading.

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BOOK BLURB:

Eighty seven billion dollars.
One dead New York business mogul.
No heirs.
No wives.
No relatives.
Eighty seven billion dollars.
Not hers yet.
He doesn’t deserve them.
He doesn’t know what to do with them.
She does.
She always has.
Eighty seven billion dollars.
He’s overwhelmed.
She’s prepared.
That will should have had her name.
Not his.
Eighty seven billion dollars.
His looks are a bonus.
Her looks are her weapon.
He’s fighting a losing battle against his heart.
He doesn’t know it yet.
Eighty seven billion dollars.
She gets everything she wants.
He’s what she wants.
Love has nothing to do with it.
To get to where you’re going, sometimes you need to step on a few people to get there.
Good thing her heels are sharp.

 

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KKHendin

AUTHOR INFORMATION:

KK Hendin’s Bio:
KK Hendin’s real life ambition is to become a pink fluffy unicorn who dances with rainbows. But the schooling for that is all sorts of complicated, so until that gets sorted out, she’ll just write. Preferably things with angst and love. And things that require chocolate.

KK spends way too much time on Twitter (where she can be found as @kkhendin), and rambles on occasion over at www.kkhendinwrites.blogspot.com.

FIND KK HENDIN:

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