Posts Categorized: personal: positively katie

I’m Thankful For…

November 26, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness, personal: health, personal: positively katie, personal: pretty girl and honey, personal: that spoonie life 1 Comment

63fa1ee0605af33d63d2f12b72130df9I know I haven’t blogged in awhile, but things have been a little bit wild here. I have been swamped with school and spent a day in the ER due to endometriosis complications.

On top of that, it’s been balancing work, family life and then being accepted into the online high school diploma program. It’s been a wild ride so far, but I’ve also been focused on self care and learning what may be “too much” for me. It’s a hard lesson, but one that I need to learn.

With today being Thanksgiving, I wanted to take some time out of my day to share what I am thankful for this year. I’ll be honest and say that yes, there have been some really bad days for me, where I wasn’t sure what would happen next – but there have been so many days where I can look back and see how much I have grown this year.

I’m thankful for…

My girlfriend: Mol, you mean the world to me. I cannot imagine my life without you and I am so incredibly in love with you. I am so excited for the future we are building together and I cannot wait to love you for the rest of my life. No matter what happens, we always have each other. You are my best friend and I am so incredibly thankful for you, and for us. IMG_1071

My friends and family: what would I do without you? You’ve seen me at my worst, you’ve seen me at my best. You’ve listened to me cry, you’ve stayed at my side throughout ER visits. You’ve supported me, encouraged me and were always there for me. You’ve seen me grow this year, you’ve seen me stumble. I am so thankful for all of you. My sisters, my brother, my parents, my grandmother. You mean so much to me and I cannot have come this far without you.

My health: it’s been such a rough year health wise with what seemed like a year of never ending diagnosis appointments, I am happy with where I am. This was the year that I was diagnosed with type two diabetes, polycystic ovarian syndrome and bipolar disorder.

It’s a lot. It’s a lot to absorb, to become used to. I’ve learned what triggers my blood sugar spikes, I’ve been on a handful of medications I’ve had to adjust to and I’ve had to learn to test my blood sugar. I’ve seen my A1C go from a 10.3 at diagnosis to a 6.9 at my last appointment.

My education: this is the year is the year that I applied to a high school diploma program and was accepted! I have kept a 4.0 GPA so far, and have completed three career courses and am waiting for the go ahead to continue since I just finished my last two “qualifying” courses.

Authors: so many of you have impacted my life. A few of you have become friends, you’ve supported me, encouraged me and have been there for me. You’ve taught me about myself, you’ve opened my eyes and your words have healed parts of me. Tamara and Courtney – you both mean so much to me and I am so incredibly grateful for all you have done for me. Your love, friendship and support get me through each day. I am so proud and honored to not just consider you friends, but a part of my family.

To my readers and the spoonie community – thank you. Thank you for being there for me, for listening and taking the time to catch up on my life, learn about my health conditions and to support me along the way. I am so happy with the direction my blog has taken this past year and I am thankful for each of you.

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Positively Katie: New Beginnings, New Meds and New Hopes

November 1, 2015 Katie A personal: anxiety, personal: bipolar disorder, personal: health, personal: highs and lows, personal: mental health, personal: positively katie, personal: pretty girl and honey, personal: psychiatry, personal: that spoonie life, personal: therapy 0 Comments

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YOU GUYS. This week has been kinda crazy, but most of it in good ways. I’ve been fairly busy this week, but still struggling with the endometriosis. I’m surviving, but still pushing through this flare.

highs: CANDY! Seriously. I bought all the best candy for Halloween. I knew we wouldn’t have many kids show up, so I got all the family favorites. Good thing, too. We only had two kids show last night. TWO.

FaceTime dates! Every time we laughed until we cried, we talked about some stuff we are both dealing with, talked about our future… it’s the best way to spend my evenings. I am so so lucky and in love.

Interviews…. what can I say here. It wasn’t a job interview. This summer I applied for a local high school diploma program and completed the qualifying process. I didn’t know when I’d heard more as it’s all state funded and based on grants, so I was surprised to see an e-mail asking me to schedule my IN PERSON INTERVIEW for the program.

I just got home from that and I am just so amazed, so excited and just… it’s overwhelming. It’s a dream come true and I am so thankful for this opportunity. It’s something I have wanted to do for a long, long time. 6cbf532a2c119171d6589ef556030310

I still have a final qualifying course to complete once I get the e-mail telling me to start (next week or two, I was told) and need to complete it (two parts) in a month, from there I am officially ENROLLED to work as a high school student and earn my diploma. 9106387b2fd29a4a2136b332a7a30150

Mental health… I have graduated to every two months for visits with my psychiatrist! She is thrilled with my progress over the last five months, so we are keeping my mood stabilizer at it’s current dose and upped the dose of my sleep meds, but I am thrilled with this progress.

lows: anxiety about that interview… especially last night and just minutes before it. I thought of taking an anxiety pill, but I didn’t and I am feeling much better. Once the interview started and all, I felt so much better and confident.

Endometriosis…. this is the flare that never ends. Let’s just leave it at that.

 

1Overall, a great week with a lot of exciting things ahead! I’ll leave you with a photo I took after my interview today. I got all dressed up for the interview and was (still am) feeling amazing!

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Positively Katie

October 25, 2015 Katie A Chronic Illness, personal: health, personal: highs and lows, personal: positively katie 0 Comments

8fb9f982df577e98979283c1bb6071e2Back in the day when I was involved in the high school youth group at my former church, we always began our Sunday mornings by getting coffee and snacks at the local cafe and then coming back to our room. We’d sit on the floor or wherever we felt comfortable and then our leader would open it up.

We always started with our highs and lows of the week. We’d each share our own, and sometimes we’d talk about them further or answer any questions. At first, I was so hesitant to share mine. At this point in time, I was knee deep in depression and living in an unhealthy (and unsafe) environment. I didn’t want to speak up. I was scared.

What those memories bring back to me is how freeing it was to share what was going on in my life. The good days, the bad days, the really bad days. It was a safe place to talk to others my age, I had trusted adults around me and even though I felt like I didn’t fit in (let’s face it: I didn’t. I wasn’t popular, “pretty” or outgoing), I had a chance to share what I was going through in a safe environment.

That’s why this week, during a bad week – I wanted to start the weekly highs and lows. Not only for myself to look back on, but as a way to connect with everyone, to share what I’m facing, and to hear from you.

What did my week shape up as?

highs: my birthday... I celebrated quite a bit for my birthday this week. Work spoiled me, I spoiled myself, I got to go to Monterey with my sister, lunch with my sister and one of my best friends and my dad. I indulged (maybe too much?) with some of my favorite things and food. 12074756_695009221797_1570833329665519035_n

FaceTime dates with my gorgeous girl. 11051977_676444690267_4307485438757227096_nWe had a few of them this week, and each of them had moments where we laughed until we cried. Mostly over ridiculous things, but I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything. We also made a big decision last night but I’m keeping it a secret.

On my birthday, I had posted something on Instagram and was greeted with a comment that I never thought I’d get. It was from one of my childhood best friends that I’d lost touch with over the last couple of years. As you can imagine, it was a flood of emotions and we exchanged phone numbers and have started to catch up. I’m still crying happy tears over this and I am so thankful she is back in my life.

lows: insomnia. Good lord, it’s been horrible this week. It’s gotten to the point where my entire sleep schedule is now thrown off because of it. It’s a mess. I’m so tired and so frustrated and just want to sleep.

Endometriosis…. yeah, no. I’m still mad. My period showed up out of nowhere when I am not supposed to have it and left me in bed for most of the week. I couldn’t go to class because not only was I exhausted, but I was in so much pain. It got to the point where I ended up having to take some heavy painkillers, and I hate doing that as often as I did this week.

Friendships breaking apart… eh. I’m still mad, but I cut them out of my life as they were nothing but toxic. I was dragged into something that had nothing to do with me in the first place, and lets just say, I went off on those responsible and proceeded to block them from every social media outlet I’m active on. It was a mess and frustrating.

Overall, I think it was a pretty good week. I was upset over missing so much class, but it gave me the chance (and forced me) to learn that I have to take care of myself, and not too push myself too hard.

8475f00924944443a11e015d8cd3edadThe good days won over the bad days, and even though I struggled a bit this week – I did the best I could and got on my feet and kept fighting, kept moving and kept going. I didn’t give up.

 

 

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